Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in alfajiri's LiveJournal:

Monday, March 16th, 2009
4:13 pm	мой самый красивый крысенок) правда, я уже всех раздала. остались только мамка с папкой. папка кастрирован и поэтому, я надеюсь, это были последние крысята! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
2:12 pm	это мы под новый год. еще маленькие) я сшила ему костюм, который ему не слишком нравился. а мне так ничо))) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:45 pm	моя любимая псинка. совершенно сумасшедшая) вернее сумасшедший. Вчера начали много гулять. ему страшно понравилось. так нагулялся, что спал пол дня без задних лап))) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 23rd, 2009
3:08 pm	периодически возвращаюсь))) Перерыв на работе) Мне гороскопы предсказывают в этом году успех в творчестве. Возможно, что я снова НАЧНУ ПИСАТЬ! Так хочется! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
11:43 pm	экспериментирую... попытка льда уколами, не лечебно никчёмными, не магическим пламенем притяженье ловя, острым ёжиком, вжившимся в каждой клетки страдание, в каждой капли вмиранием в тело зимнего дня... и прозрачно дрожащими на лучах, не согревшимся, не оттаявшим озером, не утёкшей водой... словно в Вечность замёрзшую словно в космос взлетевшую глыбу, воды взрывавшую... смерти зимний покой... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 28th, 2008
8:07 pm	возвращаюсь...сразу везде :) а вот и я... возвращаюсь. сразу во все круги своего инэтного и реалного общения. кстати, вот новое слово : не "реальное" а именно "реал-ное", происходящее в реале. в противоположность виртуалу :) стихи будут позже :) фух, с облегчением вздохнули все :) (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 8th, 2007
2:31 pm	опять всё стёрла вчера произошло событие... нет, вокруг меня-то ничего не произошло, только во мне... как подумаю вот сейчас, а если посмотреть на все мои кризисы, хоть один из них был реален? или вообще всё-всё, что происходило, было чисто моей выдумкой... Я настолько сильно живу в своей голове! как я еще не сошла с ума?! что произошло? это вобщем-то не важно и не интересно... но я решила попробовать восстановить баланс с миром и выйти на месяц из сети... так что увидимся позже, через месяц, желаю всем цвести и здравствовать! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
10:34 pm	чёрный юмор...(мой) alfaajiri :: Кукла (чёрный юмор) Захочу – подниму, захочу – положу, Покачаю ей в разные стороны. Я её предсказуемостью дорожу, Хоть и ноги, и руки поломаны. Губы ярко накрашу я кукле своей, Подберу ей красивые платья, Буду думать, что ей хорошо быть моей, На неё сил душевных не тратя. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 2nd, 2007
8:13 pm	еще стихо Косится лампа с потолка, Не видя, смотрит тусклым глазом. Своим неслыханным экстазом Ее смущаем мы слегка. Диван горбатый, одеяло Вступили в оргию и мы Из тела беспробудной тьмы, Неутолимой тишины Рождаемся… И вот устало Ты, я, диван и одеяло Лежим. Витает среди нас Тот упоительный экстаз. (Но любви там не было...а важно ли это?...) (Comment on this)
Friday, May 19th, 2006
5:45 pm	missing people Hie. My mountain started to feel so very lonely. I miss James. Very much. And he is not writing. Probably it is over. I have started to think in Russian so much that poems in English do not come at all. May be it was a bad idea to have 2 accounts for Russian and English. Now I feel sad to leave the Russian one behind. There are photos there and poems... I think today I will tell about myself. For a change I have time. Well, I was born in a small city in the Far East - Komsomolsk-on-Amur. For 17 years I lived here with nothing happening externally. Well, nothing much. I changed schools a few times, had a billion class-mates and all that. In the beg of the 90s I was a teenager. I think it was one of the worst times to become a teenager. The country was in such a mess. I became depressed and really wanted to get out, to see the world. And I got the chance which I used. In July 1992 ( if I am not mistaken) I flew to Japan! From then on started my world tour. I worked with a social service organisation and had a chance to work/visit quite many places in this world. I lived in Finland and South Africa, Kenya and Thailand, India and Russia too. Visited in the middle quite a few others. The greatest thing about my life was that I lived with the people. I didn't look at the local people from a five-star hotel window, I worked with them and had similar problems. Two years ago I returned home. Mainly because of my mom. But also for myself. I needed to have a bit more stability to be able to express the thoughts and feelings that I have collected. And I love it here. I love the quieteness of streets and I love dacha, my students and their parents, I love the few new friends I have made in the last 2 years. (I was away for too long-13 years- I hardly know where all my old friends are) I would really like to have more freinds on-line too. I don't really know how to make them. Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
3:04 pm	Hie! Well, my mountain seems to have grown... I broke up into writing and drawing and at first felt really special. Now I feel drained again... James is not writing. Don't feel like dating anyone, don't feel like opening up to anyone... I did write poems in Russian these days and not too few. Summer is here. I am alone and do not think there is any hope for not being alone... Terrible. No, I would not give creativity and the life of an artist (even unprofessional) for a proper family life. But why do I always think things have to be exchanged one for the other! I just want to be happy, to have a full life that is mine and only LIKE mine, not like anyone else's... But the mountain is only growing and I am further and further from other people. Buy, everyone. I am destined to be alone. I don't know how to be otherwise... Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 5th, 2006
6:11 pm	My life and poetry Suddenly life is filled With colors and images And I am in ecstasy Loving my own world And all that surrounds it!!! Strangely enough I feel as if someone opened a little hole in my head. It feels beautiful. Images keep coming to me and I write small poems, sometimes bigger. Mostly, well< all at the moment> in Russian. I will put them on the alfajiri1ru site now. Very little time. LOVE,LOVE,LOVE!!!!! Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
10:25 am	Love is quiet Hie, Have been so busy within the boundaries of my own self that got no chance to write for some time. I went to dacha and got a little flue, but also made some photos, which are going to be downloaded today!!!! I did write some poems but in Russian and I will put them on the alfajiri1ru address of Livejournal. See you. Love you!!!! Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
10:33 am	Gym God! How nice it is For the body to move And feel each cell, each particle Fill With air and life!!!!! I was at the gym again. If I am more or less stable financially I want to go always! Feeling so great!!! Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
10:19 am	poem I breeth in the brown and grey of the strees, Drink a tiny drop of sweet magic liquid of aloneness And become slowly transformed, Filled to the top with colors and words And Explode!!!! Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
10:24 am	Decided to stick with English and have another for Russian Hie! All the great wonderful people not reading my journal! I thought yesterday that I will have two different journals for Russian and English. I might start one for French and one for Chinese later. See! I am loving this! Of course, having readers would make it even greater but one starts with something and this is where I start. In my life I have written so many letters that supposedly had an adressie, but she (ussualy it was a she) or he ( it happened once-there was a he) wished with all their hearts that I didn't write to them. And so all the poetry and beauty of my heart was wasted on dry desert. I thought a few times that I was probably choosing purposefully such people who I would be truly wasting myself on. Many people had the same experience, I believe. This journal is so much better!!!! There are so many of you out there and there surely are plenty of mystical and wonderful people, I send my love to you all!!! See you soon! Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
6:41 pm	А теперь по-русски Здравствуй, моя дорогая Гора!!!! Вот решила обратиться к тебе по-русски. Дорогая Гора, не подумай, что я не люблю свой родной язык. Я просто очень долго жила за границей-практически всю сознательную жизнь. (Я не считаю подростковый возраст частью сознательной жизни-в нем слишком много взлетов и падений) и поэтому мне как-то легче творить по-английски. Но я очень люблю русский. Даже в то время, когда я жила в Финляндии и писала стихи на английском, вдохновение я черпала только в русской поэзии. Хочешь, Гора, я напишу тебе мое недавнее русско-язычное творение. Только не смейся! Счастье мое Сквозь пальцы Сыплется белым песком... Странное? А мне нравится... Пока. Увидимся скоро. Current Mood: anxious (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 21st, 2006
11:56 am	Friends Hie,good people! And not too good people too! I must say that the best people are LIVE people! Live not in the sense of "not3D", but in the sense of not goody-goody. Goody-goody people are NOT live. They think of what is good to do according to what others think much more than they think of what is really good and bad in life as a whole. When you a alive you must live without too much thinking about ohter's view of you at least half of the time. Many of us try to create a circle of friends. We live a lot of our lives trying to create a nest in which we would feel comfortable. And while we are building it we make choices to NOT notice and interact with people "from outside". And we loose so much of life!!! One should only try every minute to become more and more real and true. When you are true you do not need any nest to feel safe. That is the greatest happiness that can ever be!!!!! I wish everyone to find themselves and to feel happy everywhere and all the time. The happier we will all be the better will the world of ours become!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
4:50 pm	I have started to write!!!!! Step by step the road goes down... Gosh it has been ages since I have written this! And ages that I have NOT been writing. Thoughts inside have been becoming crowded and now this chance to air out! I don't know if anyone will ever hear me and this in a way gives a freedom that feels as if I am standing on the mountain and there is nobody for kilometers and kilometers around. And I can scream as loud as I want!!!! HEEEEEEEIIIIII! And may be someone will see and hear me and they may feel my excitement!!!!! I love you all!! Everyone that is out there in the world! I love all people, animals, plants!!!!! And you don't know it and you don't know me and that is even greater!!!!! Because I love you so unconditionally much!!!! Byu, my beloved ones! I kiss you all good night and I wish you all the very-very best! Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)